Chuck Norris – America’s own personal hero. I don’t know when Chuck Norris jokes became such a fad, but they did and it is hilarious. Best known for his role on “Walker, Texas Ranger,” Chuck Norris is a keen, lean fighting machine. Since we recently received an order from Chuck Norris’s official Web site, chucknorris.com, for our Dual Star Key Tags, I have decided to dedicate this blog entry to the man himself.

Here’s a list of facts about Chuck Norris from chucknorrisfacts.com:

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch – HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

There is in fact an “I” in Norris, but there is no “team”… not even close.

There is no “ctrl” button on Chuck Norris’s computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Have you had enough? Probably for today. But thank you, Chuck Norris, for choosing Absorbent, Ink. as your promotional products provider! We can all learn a thing or two from Chuck.

Love,

Abby Ink.

April showers … carry on over through May, through June and sometimes even July, make it frustrating to enjoy what are supposed to be hot, lazy summer afternoons. Depending on your locale, a “hot, lazy summer afternoon” may actually end up being unusually cool or involve an unexpected torrential downpour. And we’re all in the same boat when it comes to being under-prepared for the rain – the same wet, annoying and slippery boat.

It’s happened countless times to all of us – we run out of the house failing to check the forecast and get caught in the rain without a jacket, umbrella or even a plastic covering for our heads (channeling older ladies!). There’s really not a lot worse than getting caught in a rainstorm when you are entirely unprepared – frizzy hair, wet suits and overall exasperation will ensue. BTW, you think yours is bad; you should see MY hair when it rains!

That said, Absorbent, Ink. has a number of rain protectors to consider. What better way to promote your company than by dropping your logo onto an umbrella? When you keep people dry, you’ve got a friend for life! Not only will you indirectly be protecting your current and potential clients, you will be saying to the world, “Hey, we know how awful it is to be unexpectedly rained on during your lunch hour. Let us help keep you dry!” The message can be big and bold on a Tsunami Vented Umbrella. Or, Absorbent, Ink. offers Budget Mini Windy Umbrellas, mini-er than usual umbrellas that fold down to a size small enough to fit in a roomy purse or briefcase or under a car seat, ready for action.

Suppose your recipients may not want to carry around an umbrella? There are plenty more ways to keep them dry - and spread your message or brand around. Check out Absorbent Ink.’s PVC Rain Coats. Affordable and incredibly useful, these lightweight rain coats are available in either a clear or a black surface color. Easy to tote around and scrunch up into a bag, PVC Rain Coats will come in handy in protecting your clients against Mother Nature and all she has to offer.

Here’s to hoping none of our Fourth of July weekend plans are ruined by unexpected and untimely rainfall, unlike the U.S. Open in Bethpage, N.Y., last week. Just in case, let your clients know that they can stand under your umbrella-ella-ella.

Stay dry,

Abby Ink.

When the first Harry Potter book came out in 1997, I was instantly hooked. A kid’s book, you say? I have seen nine-year-olds, 16-year-olds and 53-year-olds reading Harry Potter and we all love it just the same. I have read every book (at least twice by now), so you can guess that when the movies came out, I was ecstatic! I was also a part of every midnight book release and movie premiere whether I was at the front of the line or crowded somewhere in the middle.

The last midnight premiere I attended was in July 2007, when the fifth installment of the film was released, and boy, did that turn into an interesting event! It was a warm summer night and as I approached the movie theater, I saw that the line was already backed up into the entire parking lot, making its way to the entrance of a local Hooters restaurant (how appropriate and magical). All of my friends were being less than fun this particular weekend, so I ventured to the movie alone with a shimmer in my eye and a pep in my step (and a lightning scar on my forehead that only I knew existed).

When I reached the line I was surrounded by wannabe witches and wizards of all shapes and sizes. It was intimidating, but I stood my ground. Just because I was alone in this Muggle-polluted situation didn’t mean I had to feel insecure about it. But the line became more and more crowded and the space around me was becoming smaller and smaller. Suddenly, I was experiencing an extreme case of claustrophobia. I was gripping my movie ticket so hard it had become sweaty and crumpled. I closed my eyes and thought about wands, incantations, butterbeer and the Great Hall’s famous feasts, but none of it helped.

Finally, they began to let the hordes of people into the various theaters showing the premiere that evening. My stress levels did not get any better. As if standing in the line surrounded by kids hadn’t been hectic enough, I was now literally fighting and thrashing my way to a seat. You would think finding one seat for yourself on a solo date to the movies would be easy. Hardly. You see, during midnight premieres of movies (especially movies with younger followings), children tend to travel in large groups and save 13 seats or so. After tripping over four people, spilling a bucket of popcorn and almost falling down the stairs entirely, I was able to find a lone seat in the nosebleed section. I was content at last!

There is no need to go into the details of my actual viewing experience or discuss the confusing and crowded walk out to the car – all of these things can be left to your imagination. But I will say that after this entire situation was all said and done, I realized something. These midnight movie premieres, although exciting and fun, can cause a lot of anxiety. Instead of using my ticket stub as a stress reliever, I thought, it would’ve been nice to have something else to squeeze in my hand.

Then it hit me. EUREKA! Companies wanting to promote their names and also appeal to what will be one of the biggest movie outings this summer would be wise and ahead of the game to order Wizard Stress Balls as a fun, interactive product to hand to their clients during this “Harry Potter” summer season. These little stress balls are shaped like a wizard who looks like a mix between Merlin and Dumbledore himself! They are the perfect promotional product for a movie event such as this. With the newest installment hitting theaters this July (like a month away!), waving your company’s wand and imprinting these Wizard Stress Balls with the company name would reach your Harry Potter-addicted customers in an understanding and very outside-the-box type of way. Whether your clients hand the product off to their children or keep it for themselves to remain calm during the premiere, these Wizard Stress Balls will work magic to make any stress disappear.

Remember… “It is our choices … that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities,” Dumbledore says. Choose this promotional product, and your stressed-out-from-attending-a-movie-premiere clients (and their children!) will thank you for the rest of their Muggle lives.

Wands up!

Abby Ink

Plastic: The very word makes me think of huge piles of garbage that do not decompose and are eyesores. If you haven’t already guessed, I am a fervent champion of eco-friendly products. I have made it my personal mission to find products that can permanently replace non-biodegradable materials and that is how I came across corn plastic.

Corn plastic, basically, is plastic produced from corn. Since it’s made from plants, it is biodegradable, which makes it a nice alternative to normal plastic. Absorbent, Ink. practically has a corn plastic category – just search our site for “corn plastic” and see what pops up! Many of the products are both affordable and practical, and they ensure that your business’s name is in front of your customers’ eyes 24/7.

We have the traditional coffee mugs and soup mugs in corn plastic, and don’t forget about pens, like the Corn Plastic Husker Pens. Got clients who golf? We have Corn Plastic Golf Tees. And for something that’s a little bit different, check out the Corn Thermometer.

Too much talk about corn. I think I’m getting hungry!

Abby Ink

Well, I can hardly contain my excitement. Really, truly! I know what you’re thinking – “Geez, Abby. You have the exact same breakfast of oats and coffee every morning. It’s not THAT exciting.” Well, fellow blogians, that’s not the source of my excitement this morning (although, I gotta tell ya – I really do love those breakfasts, regardless of what people think).

The reason for this morning’s enthusiasm is because on my way into work, my friend and co-worker called to tell me that Absorbent, Ink. was recently ranked eighth in Counselor magazine’s top ten list of fastest-growing promotional product distributors! And how could we not be with a 63% increase in revenues between 2006 and 2008?

Tell me – at what other type of job do you get to play with beach balls, taste custom-imprinted chocolate samples, and write an incredible blog such as this? It’s starting to make sense why this company flourishes the way it does. Fun, communication and liveliness is what allows our company to thrive and instill the kind of morale in our staff that results in happy staffers and even happier, enthusiastically satisfied clients!

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go have some celebratory cake!

We are the champions,

Abby Ink.

Hello! Bonjour! Hola! Guttentag! and Hi!

The name’s Ink, Abby Ink. I have been recruited to take over this blog, and I am letting all of you bloggers out there know (whether you’re a newcomer or an oldcomer) that I have accepted this mission! What used to be known as the Absorbent, Ink. blog will now be … drum roll please … Abby Ink’s Blog.

I promise you nothing but the best. I will make you laugh, I may make you cry, but most importantly I will keep you informed and ahead of the promotional products game!

With that said, I introduce to you my more interactive, more innovative and more FUN Abby Ink Blog! Think of it as a cyberspace face-lift (speaking of, you can catch us on Facebook and Twitter, of course). Click and read away, my friends. And don’t forget to comment. I always love good healthy banter!

Your friend,

Abby Ink

I just read an article that talked about promotional products that businesses can hand out. It was an interesting read, but the items discussed were quite generic and lacked the oomph a product needs to really get your message “carried away.” It’s summertime! Give them something they can use right now!

You’ll want your recipients to appreciate your promotional products and remember your business (that’s what it’s all about, right?). To achieve this, there are two things you absolutely have to remember: be timely and topical. Recipients should be able to use the products as soon as they receive them. For that to happen, it is essential to tie your products in with current events or seasonal trends.

For starters, since summer has finally arrived, your customers are going to start dusting off their barbecue grills and picnic paraphernalia. Why not dish out some folding chairs or insulated coolers (imprinted with your logo, of course) that they can use right now! And don’t be afraid to bend the rules a little; maybe your message would be better imprinted on an ice scraper if you are trying to keep it cool.

If you would like to give something that is more affordable, but useful all the same, then products that might suit you include water jugs, sunglasses, sunscreen lotions…. Whatever your budget, Absorbent, Ink. has something to suit you and your recipients during any season.